Forgiving
by BeyondMidnight
Summary: What would you do if you had three days left on Earth. Do everything for the person you love to forgive you? Main Pairing: Skivate! Rated T for character death. Please R
1. Sorry seems to be the hardest word

**A sad Skivate story, I think it needs no further summary. Please enjoy ^^**

**Private P.O.V.**

Sorry.

Such a simple word people use to make others feel better when they did something bad to the other. They say sorry seems to be the hardest word, but to me it is meaningless. Just another ordinary word on the pile of words put together in a dictionary. It lost its affect.

Even then…

_Flashback:_

_I looked through my stuff. Where did I left that badger book again? I perked up at the sound of our fishbowl opening and closing again. I raised my flipper to greet my best friend and leader, Skipper, but let it fall limply beside my body when I saw the look in his eyes. They showed sadness, quilt but still a hint of confidence. He slowly walked over to me, avoiding my gaze and pulled me in a tight hug. I blinked in confusion._

"…_Skippa?" I carefully asked._

"_I'm leaving, Private. I wanted to tell you earlier, but I just couldn't find the strength." He whispered but I could still hear the tears in his voice. "You're the only one I'm saying goodbye to. The others will just try to stop me and I know you won't. You always understood me so well." Tears were forming in my eyes as well as his words tore me apart._

"_B-But I don't, Skippa. I don't understand." I whispered shakily."W-Why? Why are you leaving us?" He released me a bit but held his flippers on my shoulders._

"_Things just don't feel right anymore." He simply said. How could he say it so easy. What did he mean? We could work everything out, right? We always did… right? "Also…" he began. I watched him slowly leaning into me 'til we were just a few inches apart. "… I love you." He breathed. My eyes widened as he kissed me passionately. I slowly closed my eyes and leaned into the kiss. Tears fell as we shared our one moment of love. I felt him begging for entrance against my beak, which I allowed. We began exploring each other's mouth trying to remember every little piece. The kiss heated but the lack of oxygen forced us to pull away. For a moment we just stood there, holding onto each other, lightheaded and minds cloudy. I stared into his eyes. They showed love, passion and sorrow. I knew mine showed the same._

"_It's time, Private. I need to go." He said closing his eyes not able to look at my broken expression. I wrapped my arms around him and held him tight against me. He couldn't leave me! Not now!_

"S-Skippa_, please… I love you and I don't want you to leave." I said between my sobs. He pushed me away gently and looked at me with also tears in his eyes._

"_And I love you to, Private. You're the most important person in my life and you always will be. That's the reason why I'm leaving. If I'd stay I would destroy your life. I just want you to know that I'll think of you every step of the way." His flipper caressed my hair softly. "You're soft dark feathers…" trailed to my cheek. "…beautiful face and the most amazing eyes I've ever seen. I will remember it all but what I'll remember more than anything is your beak on mine. I'll take that memory with me until I breath out my last breath."_

"…" _I was speechless. I really didn't want him to leave but he needed it. I knew. He gave me a quick kiss._

"_Private, I'm sorry. I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me for what I'm about to do." He said, his voice contained the hint of confidence I saw in his eyes earlier. I started shaking softly as I watched him. Everything was a blur because of the tears that were still in my eyes. I was about to ask him what he was going to do, but he cut me off by pressing his beak on mine again. We kissed as long as our lungs would let us, savoring every second but then he let go of me fully and I was left with a empty feeling in my heart, right where he fits perfectly._

"_Goodbye, Private. I love you. Forgive me."_

_And he was gone_

_End of Flashback._

Now I sit here on the cold floor. Crushing the newspaper I'm holding in my fists as tears stream down my face and won't stop coming. On the front page of the paper is the most horrifying news I've heard in my entire life. _'A penguin body was found this morning. The poor guy somehow escaped from the local Central Park Zoo and got hit by a train during his escape. How this could have happened is yet unknown. The zoo is in deep shock of this strange accident.' _

"Skippa…" I whisper between my sobs. "W-Why?" I say, my voice getting louder. "I DON'T UNDERSTAND!" I finally scream. I never saw what was behind the mask he was wearing. His confident smile, his jokes, his commanding and all the missions we succeeded. He seemed happy. I never expected this. The door of lab opens and my two best friends come rushing in and embrace me. I continue to sob as I glance over to the empty bed besides mine.

"It's okay, Private. We're here for you." I hear Kowalski say. Rico also starts sobbing quietly. Before Skipper left me, he asked me to forgive him. I don't know if I can. Right now, it just hurts too much to say it. The wound is too deep. He made me feel alive when he told me he loved me, then he went and broke me, shattered my heart to a million pieces. The pain is unbearable but I can deal with it. Skipper would have wanted me to. But forgiving him is a task neither I nor the best trained penguin in the world could do right now. He left me, Kowalski and Rico here alone in sorrow. I don't know if I can forgive him just yet. I don't understand why he did it and I probably never will, but I know now…

Sorry seems to be the hardest word…

Forgive is.


	2. Forgive me

**Inspired by Evanescence – Forgive me. Skipper's P.O.V. for the ones who truly like this story. I hope u like it. I don't own anything. Btw, I find it a rather soppy story, don't you think?**

It happened so fast. I stood there, waiting in the darkness until that familiar sound would fill the air and a blinding light would shine into my eyes. I waited, every second slowly passing as I thought of all the happy moments I had with the one I loved most, my Private. The ground began shaking as it seemed that the break of the day was there. With pain in my heart and my mind clouded from the memories, I jumped forward… and everything faded into black.

Now here I am, standing in front of a white world full of good memories, without the cursed feeling of fear. But it's not perfect. It's not even near perfect. There's still that one specific place that is empty and won't be filled for a long time, I hope. I looked up at the angel who waited patiently for me to enter heaven.

"I can't, not yet. There's something I need to do… or rather hear, before I can move on." I tell her. She nods with a warm smile and I find myself falling back to earth, into my old HQ.

'_Can you forgive me again  
I don't know what I said  
But I didn't mean to hurt you'_

There he sat, Private. Crushing the newspaper in his flippers while tears stream down his face. He shouts at me as if he knows I'm present. He says he doesn't understand. He never fully will, I know that much, but I have to let him know why. Rico and Kowalski are beside him, he's fine there for now.

'_I heard the words come out  
I felt that I would die  
It hurt so much to hurt you'_

Even though I'm dead, I still feel the mental knife that stabs my heart. Maybe it wasn't the right choice? Of course it was! If I hadn't done it, he would have been dead instead of me. I couldn't live with myself if that happened. Neither I nor Kowalski and Rico could have saved him from that.

'_Then you look at me  
You're not shouting anymore  
You're silently broken'_

He glance up, looking right at me… well, through me. The scene I see is enough to make my heart fall and shatter into millions of little pieces. He just sits there, flippers limply beside his body, his face emotionless and his eyes dull and empty. That's the worst thing, his eyes. They show me so much sorrow, so much pain and yet so much emptiness. There's no light in them, no life.

'_I'd give anything now  
To kill those words for you  
Each time I say something I regret  
I cry  
I don't want to lose you'_

"Private, you know we didn't lose Skipper entirely." Kowalski says reassuring. Private nods quietly.

"I know what you're going to say. That he'll always be in our hearts and we'll never forget him. It's not that simple for me. He asked me to _forgive _him! How can I after what he did?" Private says. I drop my shoulders and I'm about to leave when he continues. "I mean, I know I love him and I always will with every vein in my body. I just wish I understood." I smile at that.

'_But somehow I know  
That you will never leave me'_

My funeral followed soon. Never thought I would add my own funeral once. Kowalski, Rico and Private are visibly broken. Marlene sobs quietly into ring-tail's chest who holds her and pats her back reassuring. I sigh and roll my eyes at the scene. I mean, really? Am I really that depressing? Add some fun into this funeral, it's like someone died… well, besides me. I focus on Private's broken expression and on how I can let him know what I've meant to tell him for a month (before and after my death combined).

'_Cause you were made for me  
Somehow I'll make you see  
How happy you make me'_

Suddenly an idea strikes me. I concentrate hard and change into a ghostly wind, or a windy ghost. Either way, I'm invisible but not inaudible. I fly past Private, causing him to shudder, and whisper in his ear: "Smile, Private." He hears me. I know he did because his eyes widen and for the first time I see the light returning to his eyes and he smiles. Not just a small here-you-go smile but a really happy smile, a relieved smile. It causes me to smile to.

'_I can't live this life  
Without you by my side  
I need you to survive  
So stay with me'_

"Stay with me." Private whispers back. I fly past him again and make sure I stroke his face. He smiles and leans into the feeling. I stay close to him during the ceremony. Put my flipper on his when he seems to have an emotional breakdown. I'm not sure, but I think he can feel me. When I touch his flipper, he visibly relaxes. I ghost past him towards a window and my plan worked because he turns his attention in my direction. I move into the window and concentrate on me appearing in it. It works because his eyes and smile widen as he looks at me. Tears shining in his eyes.

'_You look in my eyes  
And I'm screaming inside  
That I'm sorry'_

I hope he sees how sorry I am. And I remember why I did this.

_Flashback:_

_I stand in a dark hole with my number one enemy, Dr. Blowhole. Why? It doesn't really matter. He finally got me where he wants me. I can see it by the way he grins widely at me._

"_If I'm correct you have a new recruit in your team, right Skipper?" He asks me looking at me intensely._

"_What about him?" I ask suspiciously._

"_Ah, so it's true. I also heard you care a lot about him. I wonder exactly how much you care for your team, and for Private."_

"_What do you want Blowhole? Name it." I snap at him. He chuckles._

"_You know what I want. I want you…dead. As long as you're alive, your little buddy is in great danger. I can end his life with on push of this button I have. There's nothing you can do about it, Skipper. You can't save him and yourself this time." He says evilly. I'm nailed to the ground… mentally. How could I save Private now? If he died, I couldn't live with myself. I nod in defeat and make my way back home. Tears in my eyes, my heart heavy and my head aching. I jump through our fishbowl entrance and find him there looking for something. I quickly develop him into a hug because I don't want him to see my tears. How am I going to do this?_

_End of flashback._

I watch as my Private puts a flower on my coffin. He looks at me briefly and mentions me to follow him. I float after him. Of course he doesn't look behind him to see if I'm there. I'm dead, he can't see me. He enters a supply closet and switches on the light. I feel bad for not being able to talk to him, let alone touch him. Suddenly a white figure appears next to me. It's the angel. I look at her sadly but she just smiles.

" I'll allow you to be able to become touchable and audible for three days straight. You both seems to be needing it." The angel says. She has silky dark brown hair and deep dark brown eyes. Her skin is very pale but looks soft during to the light that reflects from her white dress. She wears a necklace with a little green stone in the shape of two wings. She takes the necklace of and hands it to Skipper, then she disappears. Skipper sighs and puts the necklace around his neck. He turns back to Private, noticing he sits there quietly sobbing. I smile at him.

"Private…" I begin softly. " I thought I told you to smile soldier." He glances up with watery eyes in shock.

" Skippa?" He asks in a whisper. I nod, smiling broadly. His face breaks out into a smile and he jumps into my flippers still crying softly. I gently push him off a little and kiss his forehead. Suddenly there's a knock on the door.

" Private? Are you in there? Are you ok?" I hear Kowalski ask with great concern. I nod at Private. He opens the door and quickly drags Kowalski in the supply closet, taking Rico with him as well. Kowalski looks at Private angry. " What's this about Private! Suddenly you were gone without leaving a trace! Don't EVER do that again, ok?" He says protectively. Private nods shyly and then points to me. Kowalski looks in my direction and his eyes widen as his jaw drops.

" Now Kowalski, that's no way to greet your commanding officer." I say grinning at him. Rico to stares at me with great awe.

"S-Skipper… b-but that's impossible!" Kowalski says grabbing his head in confusing.

"Not probable maybe, confusing most certainly but impossible… no." I say with the grin still present on my face. Suddenly Rico starts shouting around and banging his head into the walls. "Calm down soldier! You don't have to fear me."

" S-So…" Private starts while playing nervously with his flippers. " How long will you stay with us?" He asks hopefully. I smile lovingly at him and ruffle his head feathers. He's just too damn cute.

" The angel that's supposed to take care of me gave me three days straight. Then I'll have to move on whether I want it or not." I tell them. Their heads drop. " So let's enjoy those three days!"

" Aye-aye Skippa!" Private chirped happily. Kowalski and Rico both nod.

Three days to live life to the fullest, which seems a bit strange seeing as I'm already dead. But still…


End file.
